“Opening up” by OsyMizpah Unuevho

Opening up

with line from “Hurry up please it’s time” by Anne Sexton

I’m each thread in the ripped jeans… it’s this feminine; it’s this swallow inside. Sometimes I forget she’s there, when I try making space for building a copper snake statue in every room I read myself into. Acrylic intelligence. I hate doing the dishes. That’s how I begin searching for myself in kitchen sinks. Those holes are warzones. My friend said it’s no coincidence: she found love

in them & she’s gay. Happiness at last. But I’m scared to go down the drop–

then I look at the kitchen knife, think of my throat as a clam; think of opening each clam in each room. I’m scared to think of what might jump out: maybe a cat maybe the woman come to find love this season. Maybe the swallow. But I’m scared

to go down the drop & let this city die.

My friend chats with me at night; sent me a novel she said helped her. In each chapter, self-discovery comes in blonde hashtags; always after an accident. It’s like sudden, rushing rain it tears apart the character– leaves me hanging upside down. Then I try to worship the fear of rain. All

these irregular heartburns: oh body, be glad. Oh inner sense be glad,

we’ll all go into the down and come out with sun discs.

Anne says to wake up is to be born. Self-discovery is delirium war. Nuclear but the shops will still open for Christmas. It doesn’t matter. It’s in the alleys of body. Even without the mob that killed Jesus, love is dangerous. It’s love that drove them to kill him. It’s love that turns alleyways into hashtags. Especially this that makes you suppress the

woman inside & try to exhale like ordinary boys.

It’s pretence. It’s slavery not to find

what type of city your shoulders are shaped for.

Nobody breaks the wildness of the runway. I’m in love with the freedom. Talking to God is chess. However the persecution, it’s a small diesel truck… I stand in front of its speed & use those blazing headlamps to

say I’m separate. It’s love that still holds me to the jeans; even fragile. However queer,

I’ll open the clams and let the swallow out I’ll hold the woman’s hand & cross the street & give a fellow boy love

until kingdom comes.

OsyMizpah Unuevho writes and collects poetry and rock samples from everywhere. Member of the Hill-top Arts Foundation, he is a road photography, mental paintings enthusiast and lover of rock and feminine bands. He is at work on his debut poetry collection.

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