For Those We Couldn't Have

By Eddy Ongili

We were enraged and battle-hardened persons in the field of life But, when they first touched our hands and whispered – Love. We stood still, unable to react until we realized we were Pines Then aridity arose us only when they became Inconstant, Fleeting, Stiff and Stormy. And it was too late when we realized we were lost In a love, a nightmare that for the best solemnly Sank us in a bondage of reacting to smoke even in the absence of inferno, That weakened our perversion to watch them squirt in our hands. We wanted so badly to look inside their eyes And in silence, as if beauty was gawky to be swept in something deep, To even momentarily avoid the ache that has turned into something endlessly fantabulous. We collapsed in such tremendous wails Evenly and hopelessly unable to experimentally show how we feel. Albeit in hues of romance, we turned into poets, Those bastards who in an incessant curse attempt to write the beauty of a violin. Only when we realized their kisses weren’t flowers but swords And no matter the traces of our chords, we couldn’t even hum For we were too hollow to dramatize tribulation. What’s worse is, We suddenly knew all about how they moved How the sun bounces of their eyes and like romance, They became the name of our lamentations. Nothing bites hard as much as their admiration of our minds Because they use it as a yardstick to test and counter their level of guilt. It has been upon us From the first time we realized abysses are homes and we decorated That we won’t ever get over them, we simply couldn’t. There are those we never stop loving And even measuring our moving on is a cathedral fallacy, Because we want to see them drown inside us. Yet we love again, maybe more or less But they were people we wish we could still have. Now we know we are fools and emotive chimneys we cover While plummeting back into the battlefront – Always! We aren’t searching nor crying for them anymore but recollecting a past

that will forever be our shadows.

Eddy Ongili is a Kenyan writer and a part-time critic currently pursuing his Bachelors Degree in Procurement and Logistics.
He has written extensively for online publications and has been featured in an ebook Anthology by Eldorets Poets Association. He regularly blogs on where he is learning to diversify his writing while sticking close to his mission as an inspirational poet.

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  • Poem
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